Something wonderfully terrifying

Bye

2006-09-25T18:08:00.000-07:00

I am closing this for personal reasons, not sure if permanent or not. :)

Butterflies in Motion

2006-09-22T12:43:00.000-07:00

Hard to see in such a small copy, but some of the butterflies are really in focus and the other are flapping their wings thus blurry. I really liked the way the blurry butterflies show motion.

Heartbroken Toddler

2006-09-22T12:27:00.000-07:00

Day-Day

2006-09-20T16:35:00.000-07:00

David now calls himself "Day-day" and its just so cute I have to stop myself from starting to call him that too. He's more fiercely independent than ever, if I see him struggling to do something and try to help him without him asking for help, he will undo what I did and keep struggling with it because he wants to do it himself. He's big into banging things together which really gets to be a headache sometimes. At two he's 35 1/2 inches tall and 26.4 pounds.

Thinking

2006-09-07T20:30:00.000-07:00

I've been processing some big things in my life having to do with religion, God, the nature of life. That's why I've been so quiet around here. I think I'm almost ready to talk about it, but its kept my mind really busy when I haven't been busy with school, David, or being pregnant and exhausted. I've just gotten my first big assignment for digital photography and I hope I can come up with some fun stuff that I can share here. I should also take a picture of my expanding tummy, things are looking good and I get my ultrasound on October 2nd-- I hope to find out if baby is a boy or a girl then.

2006-09-01T13:26:00.000-07:00

Oh boy, been busy and lots happening. David turned two. I'm in college two days a week. I'm 15 weeks pregnant today. David has a fever today and is laying on the couch under a blanket watching Veggie Tales and drinking orange juice (his favorite.... I hope he doesn't have the flu). I'll have to catch up on writing things later.

Kitchens are for boys too.

2006-08-26T07:22:00.000-07:00

This afternoon is David's birthday party. We got him a manly wooden kitchen, its blue, silver and red from Target. Last night it took us 3 hours to put that thing together and this morning he woke up and was thrilled to see it in the living room. We decided to give it to him this morning since we're having the party at my parent's house and carting it around would be too much work. All I know is I am glad I have a husband that isn't narrow minded about gender roles. One of his friends asked what we were getting David for his birthday and when we told him he wrinkled his nose and said boys aren't supposed to play with kitchens. Say what? Do grown men play in kitchens? They do if they're smart. Why can't our little boys play in kitchens? I think its ridiculous telling a two year olds that kitchen stuff is only for girls, its no wonder our men grow up and don't know how to cook or think that its only for women. He loves his little kitchen. He owns a child sized broom too-- I am positively ruining him.

2006-08-21T09:18:00.000-07:00

Something someone said the other week has been on my mind. It was something like, "You don't reward for proper behavior do you?" As a matter of fact, I can't imagine parenting where you don't affirm good behavior. If I ask David to do something and he does it, I thank him for being a good listener. The only other way to parent would be all in the negative, punish for bad behavior and ignore good behavior. Why would anyone want to do that? Who's going to pay for the child's therapy bills when they grow up with a parent that only gives them negative attention?

Musings

2006-08-17T08:16:00.000-07:00

We're going swimming today, and I hope it isn't too cold because its only supposed to be 83 and partly cloudy. In my opinion it should be 90 to go swimming, but I get cold easily. I think David gets cold easily too, he's just a tiny little boy too. Last time we went swimming he loved going as deep as he could while on his tip toes. He seems to really enjoy it, and I wonder if next year I should get a season pass. I think he would have more fun on his own than in a swim class, and I'd only have to get one for me because under 3 is free. I'll think about it. We're about to leave and go to buy my college books first, I can't believe its back to school next week already. He's going to have a great time at grandma's house though.

I want a retest!

2006-08-16T12:00:00.000-07:00

Okay well right now I'm going to try harder for the GBS retest, because testing positive for GBS at 8 weeks in no way reflects what my condition will be like in 30 more weeks. I realize that if I had a bad enough colonization then I am more likely to test positive, but I still want to retest. The midwife I was with on Monday wouldn't hear of it, but that doesn't mean some of the others won't or that its not my right. I'm looking into it. It may not make a difference for their policies, but it makes all the difference in the world for me. If I am positive at 35ish weeks then I will get the antibiotics, but if I am negative then I see no reason for them. They would have me get the antibiotics based off of a test given 8 months before delivery just because of regulation. Sigh. Sometimes this stuff gets too political.

School starts next week, I suppose I should look into getting books...

Oh baby!!

2006-08-14T15:03:00.000-07:00

This morning I had my second prenatal appointment and I got to hear my baby's heartbeat! I'm excited and finally ready to talk about it here. I am 3 months along and due February 23, 2007. I'm all signed up for the fall semester, but for the spring I am either going to take one class or take the semester off. I feel bad for David because he's had to put up with how sick I have been feeling all day long and all he wants to do is play and play some more! I already have a little tummy but unless you are looking you wouldn't notice it, its enough for me to already be wearing maternity shorts from my last pregnancy. I'm excited but also a little nervous about transitioning to a two child household.

The biggest disappointment so far this pregnancy has been testing positive for group b strep. They ran across it at my 8 week appointment and say they will not test for it again this pregnancy because it was in high concentration. That means they want to give me an IV with a burning antibiotic in it and I was hoping to go completely intervention free, drug free, IV free.... and they're telling me already this won't be possible because of a test from that early. Personally I think its ridiculous because everything I read about group b strep says that tests done more than 5 weeks before delivery are completely useless and don't give any indication of whether the mother will be positive or negative at delivery time. Its made me go "hmmm... home birth" but I am just too far from the hospital to feel good about that, and besides it doesn't really deal with the issue itself. I want whats best for my baby, I want what's best for me, but I am not convinced that the CDC is the authority on what's best for either of us-- I already disagree with half of what they promote. More research is clearly needed.

Affording kids

2006-08-07T13:48:00.000-07:00

Well today I've been thinking about what it means to "afford" kids. I am between the "you must have everything" and the "you don't need anything" crowds. I think that its best if you are able to provide a certain number of things for your children, but you don't need to be well-established and with a high paying job before you can have kids either. Love is the most important ingredient, but a sprinkling of opportunity and those enjoyable little extras tossed in can be really great for both kids and parents. For example, its not necessary, but I would like to be able to give David lessons in things that interest him. Maybe he could play little league baseball, and take piano lessons, and if I really reach far take swim lessons as well. I think those are great opportunities for kids, and what fun! I would like that for him. I cut corners where we can, I went to garage sales and got tons of fall clothes for David. They look new, and are brand names too. I find that the "rich" people only have one child of each sex before being done with children and so when they sell their clothes (which they bought a large supply of) they are practically new. I love children and I would love to have a large family, but I also want to be able to give them some of those extra opportunities, and so I will have a smaller family if necessary to give them those.

Am I at war?

2006-08-03T10:17:00.000-07:00

It sure feels like you have a lot of time when your child wakes you at 6:30am. I guess his teeth hurt because he woke crying and had his hand in his mouth chewing on it, 2 year molars I'd expect. We had time to go on a walk, play at the park, visit one of his grandma's at work, and dance to "If you're happy and you know it.." all with time to spare.

So today I feel a little disturbed by the attitude about parenting I see too often. I understand what the mean when they say "pick your battles" but sometimes I swear all parents talk about are battles. Are we in a war? Its just tiring me out today.

I'm back

2006-08-02T11:12:00.000-07:00

I just finished the final for my Economics class, and that was a very frustrating class. It was all video lectures, no book, and I spent so much time on it and I am just hoping to keep my B. I have a very low B right now, and just got a C on the final and so its up to a couple of random grades like the last paper I wrote. So, there goes my nice GPA. I think the class was unreasonably difficult considering it was a 101 level.

In less than a month, I'll be starting fall classes again. I'm currently signed up for 4 classes but I may drop one because I don't want to take Economics 102 right now. I think I might need an Economics vacation.

Yesterday David and I went to the local waterpark with my parents and sister (and she brought a friend). We had a blast, David is like a fish in the water. Boys twice his age were more scared than he was, I was so proud. :) They had a pool that starts out only an inch deep and works its way deeper, and David would walk until he was up to his shoulders and we'd say "whoaaa that's deep" and he'd grin like he was proud of his accomplishment. They had a lazy river with a water slide that you could ride to get down to it, in an inner tube. David would squeal in delight every time we went down it, we would share a tube and I held onto him. He is a real man of action-- he hated the lazy river because he had to just sit there but he loved the water slide, and the kiddie water slides and the pool. He didn't stop moving for three hours, climbing quickly up the hill to go down the waterslide again, and then I noticed how slow and tired he was looking so we left. We are lucky to have this park nearby, its not as big as most waterparks but that also means its a lot cheaper! We're going again on Saturday and this time Wes will get to go too.

Button.

2006-07-12T18:40:00.000-07:00

I think I am married to the computer right now. I go between the stuff for my class, a forum, my email and back again. My class had 12 practice quizzes, 7 quizzes and 1 exam last week. Its only 3 more weeks-- I can do it, right? Of course I can.

David's going to be two in a little over a month, I can't believe that! He has a lot of big feelings: sometimes sad (he cries hard), mad (oh yes...), or when i get a big kiss on the cheek. Everything he sees he thinks he needs to touch, and everything he touches he has to try to manipulate to see what he can do with it even if its not conventional or logical. His loves his little cars, he parks them all in little lines along the edge of the living room. He knows tons of words, some of my favorite is when he climbs up on my lap and starts labelling, "nose. mouth. eyes. ear. button." That last one is belly button, of course. Wes and I are both amazed to see how fast he's grown recently.

This accelerated class is going to kill me

2006-07-09T20:09:00.000-07:00

If anyone was wondering why I haven't been writing anything, it is because I am spending soooo much time on this summer Economics class that some things just had to go. This class is far more demanding and time consuming than I expected with no way to really cheat around it. I wish I hadn't signed up for it, but since I did I'm going to finish it. At least it is over at the end of July or beginning of August, can't remember which.

The Box Fort

2006-06-26T18:27:00.000-07:00

We got duplos in the mail (larger version of legos) and David loved them. Of course, he also loved the box they came in. He very seriously got into the box and closed the flaps like a fort.

I'm reading What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Children's Vaccinations by Stephanie Cave and several other books. I started this book a while back but ended up taking a break when I got some other books that were more pressing. So far I would definitely recommend this book to any parents or future parents.

New siding

2006-06-24T20:43:00.000-07:00

My father in law and Wes are installing new siding on our house this week. They both took a week of vacation to do it, and we are really hoping it can be done in one week. I hope it does because then I would love to get carpetting in the other unusable part of the house. This house is getting smaller and smaller on us, and we could use a little more room.

Adventures in potty training

2006-06-22T15:52:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure I want to tell this story, its kind of embarrassing and something that will really gross you out until you are a parent. I'll risk it.

David has been talking more about his bodily functions, and he goes to his little potty and points in there and says "poopoo." He also tells me when he goes in his diaper. So yesterday I decided to give it a try and let him run around naked after his bath for a while until he said he needed go to. He came and told me he needed go to, so we went to the bathroom and I brought Goodnight Moon. So I got him seated and showed him how to point down (everyone tells me to teach boys sitting down first), then I was reading to him and he was sitting on the potty. He kept standing up and then sitting down, back and forth. Suddenly I felt this warm wet sensation on my foot. You can guess what that was?? I jumped up startled, and that scared David and he was embarrassed and starting crying. I tried to help him point down but he wouldn't go anymore so he asked for a diaper, and I put it on him and then he went. Then he wanted the diaper off because it was wet but didn't want another diaper put on so I decided to leave him be a bit longer and see if we couldn't try again. After about 2 minutes he comes up to me and says "poopoo" and points across the room where he had went in a pile on the carpet. LOL

Well, he's not two yet. Something's not quite clicking in our communication, and there's no hurry. We'll give it another whirl in a month or whenever we get the urge.

Hot hot hot

2006-06-22T15:22:00.000-07:00

Today we played in the kiddie pool in our backyard. Both of us, lol. I had to get in there because he was going down the little slide and would go under and then get freaked out. I'd just set him back up and then he was okay. Besides, it was HOT outside and if I had to be out there I might as well get cooled off. We ate well and played well, so I consider it a good day. I do need to do more cleaning though, but I had to use his nap for Economics work.

Here I am, turning 26

2006-06-20T12:21:00.000-07:00

I feel really old today, I don't know why. Yesterday was my 26th birthday. 26 sounds so.... adult. I guess it shouldn't surprise me. Still, if I only live to be 52 half of my life is over. I feel like I only just started living and still have so much to do. I had Wes take some pictures of me by myself and then some with David. This is the only one I could bear. I hate pictures of myself. David went to grandma's house for a couple hours, and Wes and I went to the Olive Garden for lunch and to the bookstore, etc. Last week I started my summer internet class with my college, its Economics 101 and I think I might die of boredum.

Recently...

2006-06-13T17:48:00.000-07:00

Well this parenting job goes through rough patches and easy patches. Right now we're in a rough one but we'll get through it. He's having trouble with his impulse control, I know I know-- typical for a 2 year old. I'm trying to help him learn when to follow impulses and when to stop though. He also gets really hyper out of control sometimes and is silly to the point where he hurts me or himself. We're working on that too. He also fights me a lot when I change his diaper, its really frustrating and I haven't figured out how to deal with that yet. Being silly doesn't seem to be working as distraction anymore. I've been really tired recently and trying to keep up with the new challenges around here. I hope you all are well.

Classical Education

2006-06-05T18:09:00.000-07:00

My educational philosophy is that education is not only about gathering information but about learning self-discipline and perseverence. So I think that classical education is going to work great. I really enjoyed The Well Trained Mind and will either follow its plan or something similar for our homeschooling.

Been busy.

2006-06-02T20:51:00.000-07:00

Been busy. I've discovered that letting David eat an oversized chocolate chip cookie at lunch time causes him to be a hyper maniac starting about 3 hours later. Wow, I had never seen him so crazy he was driving me NUTS! Mommy lost her temper a few times, doh. Then in the typical fashion of my Little Mirror he began yelling at me randomly throughout the night. No words, he would just babble-yell. That made me feel like a bad mommy.

Tonight was my sister's graduation from 8th grade. Tomorrow I've got to clean this house which is falling apart from our playdates and activities outside the house.

I just finished reading The Well Trained Mind by Wise/Bauer and I'll have to discuss my thoughts on that book another time. I am now reading The Virgin's Lover by Philippa Gregory which is historical fiction about Queen Elizabeth I. I still need to finish Evidence of Harm, it was so heavy emotionally that I had to take a break. I love to learn new things though and books are such a great way to do it. There's something really refreshing about being out in nature reading a book as well. The best of everything.

Petition: "Show Us The Vaccine Data"

2006-05-30T20:10:00.000-07:00

Click me!!

They're trying to get to 100,000 citizens. I hope you will sign it on the off chance the government will listen and open their documents. You never know!

These are my men

2006-05-30T20:01:00.000-07:00

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

2006-05-30T17:18:00.000-07:00

I really like that quote. Its really true too, and even the small moments can take your breath away. We had a great Memorial Day weekend with cookouts and strawberry shortcake with whip cream-- yum! Wes had a 4 day weekend and that was really nice. The weather's getting pretty hot but we're trying to spend as much time as we can early morning and in the evening outside. David has fallen in love with the swing and can swing long after we've gotten tired of pushing him. David is also learning to brush his teeth, and I've started to talk potty training with him and we'll see where that goes.

Flowers!!

2006-05-25T11:30:00.000-07:00

Yesterday David, grandma and myself went to a beautiful park that has formal gardens. I tried to get some pictures of David with the flowers but he would never stop and smile at me at the same time. I have some of him running and smiling, or stopping and looking very serious. I guess that is a problem with this age? Maybe by 2 he will be more ready to follow directions such as "stop and smile for mommy." I wonder if I am the only one with such an active little boy that picture taking has been an extreme challenge ever since he could walk. Here are a few of my cutie anyway-- he's going blonde from being outside in the sun. I thought the one with just his head is so funny because he looks like a little flower.

Big storm coming

2006-05-24T15:04:00.000-07:00

David and I spend so much time outside I feel like we live out there. It feels so great to watch the seasons and weather as it changes. We just came inside because a big storm is approaching. It was really hot and sticky, so I filled a big bin with water for David to play in and I sat a chair nearby to read my book. We spent some time on the swings (both of us heehee) and pulling the wagon around. We just got this wagon out of my in laws shed, its 20-something years old and still in pretty good shape. Our skin is starting to get a healthy summer glow despite staying in the shade when possible. The storm is about to hit so I better end this before the power flashes.

Charlie's Soap Laundry Powder

2006-05-23T10:31:00.000-07:00

I bought some of this Charlie's Soap just to use on our cloth diapers, and I have been using it more and more for my regular laundry as well. It is really cheap, cleans really well, and one small bag of it lasts forever. If you do decide to try it, put my name down as a referral because then they give me some extra Charlie's Soap for free. Thanks!

http://www.charliesoap.com/

A beautiful late spring weekend

2006-05-22T11:37:00.000-07:00

It was lovely weather this weekend so we spent most of it outside. We took care of the flowers and my small veggie-fruit garden and played a lot. By the way, most of my strawberries didn't come up and I don't know why. I have never tried to plant from the roots before though, I guess I will have to try again using the actual plants which will be more expensive. We love strawberries in this house though so it will be worth it.

Anyone who has tried to take pictures of a young toddler knows how challenging it is. I kept trying to get a nice one but he was my little whirlwind running around the yard in a blur, only pausing when I was not camera-ready. David tried to help me water and got really wet, then he got to drive the tractor-mower with daddy when he was done mowing. Its not our tractor-mower by the way, those things are expensive! We have a push mower, but we borrow the tractor-mower from Wes' parents sometimes because they only live two blocks from us.

Next weekend we are having a family cookout.

Babies are getting their very own channel!

2006-05-20T14:53:00.000-07:00

Yes, that's right. Someone has come up with the brilliant idea to market an entire channel to BABIES. There will even be black and white programs for newborns. We parents never have to parent again! We can just strap our newborn into a bouncy seat in front of the TV and go about our day, never bothering to worry if junior is entertained.

Do you sense the sarcasm dripping?

Am I the only one who noticed that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends NO TV for children under 2? David's approaching two and only in this last month have I allowed him to watch any TV at all. I'm a mean mom, right? You can betcha. Now for the most disturbing part:

"A 2003 study by the Kaiser Family Foundation found that 68 percent of children under 2 watch TV or videos daily and 26 percent have a TV in their bedroom. Nonetheless, the pediatrics academy recommends that children of that age not be exposed to TV or videos, saying that learning to talk and play with others is much more important."

I can't believe that 26 percent of children under 2 have a TV in their bedroom! I guess I am more old fashioned than I thought, but I believe in children being around their parents and their siblings, and not tucking them away in their bedroom watching TV. My children will never have a TV in their bedroom, but they can have a bookshelf. Maybe two.

David hasn't watched any TV in three days now, we've been too busy playing outside, running errands, and hiding the Elmo video. Oh wait, that last one is what I've been doing. Heehee.

We don't need to start our babies out on a TV diet. Unfortunately I am confident that this channel will become a quick success because people are doing it anyway.

http://www.babyfirsttv.com/
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,195052,00.html

Hmmm

2006-05-19T21:21:00.000-07:00

Do you have any friends who always talk a lot about themselves, but never really ask about you? I have a friend like that and it really frustrates me. This individual can vent about their day but then doesn't take the time to find out that mine was terrible. Yes indeed, this has been a very frustrating day for me. Now I must go to sleep where I can properly feel sorry for myself.

Wes didn't get the position we were hoping for

2006-05-19T13:34:00.000-07:00

Wes applied for an assistant manager position at another branch in the bank he works in. We REALLY wanted him to get that job. He didn't. I am very sad about this because we desperately need him to get a promotion. He's applying for another position in the branch he works in now-- we DON'T want him to get that, but you know what? We don't have a choice, because we need the money that the promotion would bring. So here's hoping he gets it.... I guess.

I hate money.

A discussion about feminism

2006-05-17T16:31:00.000-07:00

Three people's perspectives on feminism, whether good or bad. I really enjoyed it, maybe you will too: Click me.

Art, Anyone?

2006-05-15T20:06:00.000-07:00

I really like this store. It has me wishing I could buy lots of famous art [prints]....

A B C D E F G

2006-05-15T19:17:00.000-07:00

Recently I have been trying to remember to mention the alphabet with David because it was brought to my attention that I should be doing that, and I hadn't been because I thought he was too young (new mom alert). So today we were coloring, and I had a crayon and started writing and saying A... and he burst out with "A B C D E F G" I was stunned. It was so clearly spoken and carefully pronounced.

I haven't even talked about the alphabet that much, and I couldn't believe he could repeat so many letters... after that he said again "A B C D" in the bath, and I am wondering if I won't again hear so many letters for a while. Sometimes he does that, surprises me with a word he's only heard once or twice but then won't say it again for a while. I am encouraged though to know that I wasn't entirely wasting my time telling him the alphabet because he never seemed to be paying attention. Of course he never acts like he is paying attention when I am reading him books either, but I know he is. He learns like I do, on the move....

On a side note, My parents found a Little Tikes house at a garage sale. It is in really good condition and David loves it.

I like books.

2006-05-13T12:38:00.000-07:00

I've been busy reading a lot of books in my "free time." I am making good use of my library and when necessary, the bookstore. I have just gotten two books: Truth and Fiction in the DaVinci Code by Ehrman and Evidence of Harm by David Kirby.

I read the DaVinci code and I can definitely see why the Catholics are particularly annoyed. On the other hand I took it simply as a fiction book. Some of their historical claims got me interested in which parts were true and which parts were not though which is why I have this book. I hope that I can learn some more.

The second book says "Mercury in vaccines and the Autism epidemic: A Medical Controversy." Sounds interesting.

Happy reading for me...

You will know them by their love

2006-05-10T09:22:00.000-07:00

John 13:34,35

"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." -- Jesus

We all know that the New Testament is filled with references to love and testaments of Jesus' love for the people. Jesus says we will know his followers by their love. This morning I was reading some blogs where in the title it says "Christian" and that is how they define themselves, but in reality I have never "met" a group of people so completely devoid of love. They tell me things like "go knit a sweater" and call me a loser if I disagree with them.

I wouldn't even fully call myself a Christian. I am "undecided" or struggling, and unsure that I can accept some of the most basic creeds of Christianity. After 10 years as a solid Christian I have gone through the last few years wondering if I wasn't deceived all along. These people make me even more unsure-- you will know them by their love.

So if I feel more love talking to an agnostic who respects Jesus as a prophet than I do talking to a Christian who curses regularly and has "bigotry" and "arrogantly judgemental" written all over them.... which one is the disciple?

Children at Work - a beautiful thing!

2006-05-08T12:03:00.000-07:00

I checked Barbara Curtis' blog today and found her entry about preschool children helping. The second picture of a 22 month old helping put away dinner is the one that caught my attention. I am not alone in thinking that young toddlers can help! Of course I got much of my inspiration from her book, The Mommy Manual, so maybe that explains it. ;)

What are people thinking? Re: Pearls

2006-05-08T10:57:00.000-07:00

Here is a short update on the Pearl follower who suffocated her adopted son:

"Paddock, 45, is behind bars, charged with first-degree murder in 4-year-old Sean's death. She also faces felony child-abuse charges in connection with the welts that covered the backsides of two of her other five adopted children."

I pray that her 5 surviving adopted children do not carry scars into adulthood.

Who are the Pearls? They have written a book called To Train Up A Child. Here are some examples of the things they teach and the families who employ it:

"The regimen was even tougher on his wife, who majored in child development at East Carolina University. "No spanking" had been drilled in her head. Lauren Killion, a stay-at-home mom, said she would sit on the couch and wince while her husband switched Moriah[who was under 2 at the time]'s hand with a twig from a bush.

"I used to think the switch was so mean and cruel," she said. "But all in the hands of a loving parent, it's right.""

Switching an infant.... right? Loving?

"Beck relied on his advice to teach her daughter, then 3, to stay in bed after being tucked in. After 23 nights of getting switched with a willow tree branch, her daughter, now 12, finally relented. "Mike Pearl taught me my daughter needed to know there was a limit," Beck said."

It works so well, she needed to hit her child with a branch 23 different nights. Returning your child to their bed 23 nights in a row with no attention does the same thing-- no child abuse required.

"Jones said Pearl attracts frazzled mothers dealing with troubled children.

"You have people that are so needy, and there's such danger in them going too far," said Jones, who says she abandoned Pearl's training regimen after realizing she had alienated her small children.

"You have to suppress your natural instincts and natural mothering to be able to do this," she said. "I learned that there is a good reason something is trying to stay your hand.""

She is absolutely right. I can't think of a better way to destroy the child-parent bond than to continually switch them and call it training.

"Mothers never suspect a backlash because Pearl's books and newsletters are filled with stories of happy, godly children. The trick: training them while they are young. He urges fathers to tempt the little ones with an off-limit toy. When the child reaches for it, the father is advised to swat his hand or leg with a rod.

Pearl explains in "To Train Up a Child" that he used this strategy to keep his kids from going near a shotgun. Pearl also gets creative: When his children were toddlers and strayed to the pond's edge, he pushed them in and let them flounder to prove how dangerous the pond could be."

Tempt your children by leaving a toy laying around and then smack them when they touch it. And if your child goes near something dangerous such as a pond-- push them in. That way while they are drowning they can remember that you told them not to do it.

"Meggan Judge, a mother in Alaska, wishes someone had stopped her from following Pearl's instruction sooner.

"Thirty times a day, I was striking my son. He wasn't even 2 years old," Judge said. "I kept waiting: Where is this joy we were promised?'"

A good question.

From reading this, its not hard at all to see how a child could die at the hands of someone following such ridiculous advice.

I really don't see how this is raising better children. Parents of toddlers need to define the boundaries and keep consistant. A parent can redirect and create consequences to teach their children that they mean what they say-- spanking is not necessary. Toddlers are born to test limits-- so you can either spank, spank, spank or redirect/consequence, redirect, redirect, or timeout, timeout, timeout. Whatever approach you take it will not happen overnight. You can see that above with the parents who switched their children 30 times a day. Badly behaved children happen when a parent doesn't stay consistant and strong on the boundaries, they are not created from a lack of spanking.

My son is no exception to a toddler's insatiable curiosity. He also wants to test limits and see if mommy means what she says. I most certainly do! I teach him daily how to behave, no switching necessary. A recent struggle we have had is with him leaving the backyard without mommy's permission(I would be sitting on the porch and see all of this of course, he was not alone). It took him only a few days to learn that going through the gate without mommy is not worth it and so he doesn't do it anymore. He can be very spirited, and in the past he would have tried the gate for a lot longer and many more times than that, but he is a smart young boy and he has already learned that mommy means what she says and so he tests things of this nature a lot less than he used to-- just to make sure its still in effect.

The rest of the article mentioned above is here.

A Servant's Heart

2006-05-07T16:45:00.000-07:00

My little David has a servant's heart. Just a few minutes ago I grabbed as much as I could of the "warm" laundry pile and walked down to put it in the washer. I put it all in the washer and turned around to go get the rest and there was David with the rest of the pile in his arms patiently waiting for me to take it from him. *sniff*

I love my boy.

I have determined I was wrong-- again.

2006-05-05T10:12:00.000-07:00

The number of times I have been wrong about previously assumed "common knowledge" astounds me. I suppose it should stop surprising me. So many times I have taken what I was told (and dare I say brainwashed to believe?) and believed it without having all the facts. I just couldn't believe that the majority could be wrong or uninformed.

Fortunately (or unfortunately depending on your point of view), I am the type of person not only to ask questions but to seek answers. The more I research each issue the more I find myself taking the minority stance for my family. This is not something I aimed to do, I don't hate "the system", it sure would be easier and a lot more popular to do it the way everyone else does it. However, I must be true to myself. So I educate myself, and make an informed choice about what is right for my family and I receive a lot of flack for these decisions; decisions such as daring to ask the hard questions about Christianity, taking a non-spanking approach, believing in homeschooling's benefits, and discovering that cloth diapers aren't anything like I had imagined (they turn out to be easy to use, easy to clean, you save money and you help the environment).

I am very blessed to have a husband that has been not only supportive but in favor of all of these decisions(except we disagree on some of the theological issues). He surprises me many times with his open mind, his strength at going against the grain, and his interest and understanding at reading and informing himself about our choices. I am lucky to have such a partner in this adventure.

The latest decision we have made, or are in the process of making, involves vaccinations.

Dr. Miller says in his article, A User Friendly Vaccination Schedule, "The CDC has not done any studies to assess the long-term effects of its immunization schedule. To do that one must conduct a randomized controlled trial, the lynchpin of evidence-based medicine, where one group of children is vaccinated on the CDC’s schedule and a control group is not vaccinated. Investigators then follow the two groups for a number of years (not just three to four weeks, as has been done in vaccine safety studies). Concerns that vaccinations in infants cause chronic neurologic and immune system disorders would be put to rest, and their safety certified, if the number of children who develop these diseases is the same in both groups. No such studies have been done, so vaccine proponents cannot say that vaccines are indeed as safe as they think they are. (One proponent, interviewed by Dan Rather on 60 Minutes, who has financial ties to the vaccine industry that he did not disclose, claims that vaccines "have a better safety record than vitamins." He neglected to mention that the U.S. government has paid out more than $1.5 billion in its Vaccine Injury Compensation Program to families of children who have been injured or killed by vaccines.)"

And while you're thinking it, but before you say it, I have to say that I have read both pro-vax sites and anti-vax sites and found this statement to be true. I wanted to pull my hair out as I tried to find solid scientific research-- no scientific studies have been done comparing vaccinated and unvaccinated children. Yet the evidence slowly mounts as the majority of children are vaccinated that this may not be good for individuals or society.

Every form they gave me when David has received a vaccination (and he's received all of them thus far) informs me there is a Vaccine Injury Compensation Program. If vaccines are so safe, why do they have that program? It has been months since I read enough to accept that vaccinations have side effects and you just have to hope your child is lucky enough to not be one that has such a side effect. Knowing this, I still allowed David to have this last round of shots.

More recently I have read more which has lead to a new question: are we really doing the right thing for society as a whole? I am not even convinced of that any longer. From the same article Dr. Miller says, "Measles caused less than 100 deaths a year in the U.S. before there was a vaccine for this disease (in 1963)." The next paragraph states, "Since the measles vaccine came into widespread use in this country this disease has virtually disappeared, and it has prevented 100 deaths a year. But now, instead, several thousand normally developing children become autistic after receiving their MMR shot. Termed "regressive autism," it accounts for about 30 percent of the 10,000 to 20,000 children who are diagnosed with autism in this country each year." So we save 100 lives, but damage thousands of children a year? This doesn't sound good for society as a whole. And how do we know that the 100 wouldn't survive now since we have more medical knowledge to help people?

Another thing to consider is what vaccinations do to our immune system on the whole. Instead of the life long benefits of natural immunity, we have a false immunity through the vaccine that wears off. Why do you think we need "booster shots"? A good example of this is the latest Mumps outbreak. I have heard various statistics but one thing they all agree on is that the vast majority of people getting Mumps right now (as an adult) are people who have already received vaccinations for it as a child. The statistics I have seen range between 88% and 95% are vaccinated individuals. If these vaccinations do nothing but put off childhood disease until adulthood where they are far more dangerous, we are not doing ourselves or society any favors.

So this is a small amount of the research done to determine that we will delay vaccinating any future children until they are 2 years old at least, and which vaccines we choose will be carefully selected based on their danger and other pertinent factors.

Ahhh yes, I am wrong again. So I would really like to apologize to my friend Beth, who I jumped on for saying she would not vaccinate her children(or delay), and I would like to encourage her to bookmark some good websites and facts to help other schmucks like myself--had I been informed right away of all of this I wouldn't have further endangered my son.

Hindsight is 20-20.

Disclaimer: If you are named Beth and you have no idea what I am talking about then I am not speaking to you, I happen to know and like several Beths. ;)

Its time to plant grass.

2006-04-30T21:08:00.000-07:00

Yup, its that time of year again. Grass planting time. It seems we have a dysfunctional yard with tons of weeds and dead spots and no matter how many times we plant those spots they never come up. None the less, Wes is very insistant that we must plant grass seed. David was up for it too, he sowed it everywhere no matter if it needed grass seed or not.

The Expanding Size of the United States.

2006-04-30T19:17:00.000-07:00

I just wrote a large research paper for my English class about the overweight and obesity problem in America. It definitely made me think hard about the matter, something that normally I've always shrugged off. I never realized how many serious health complications are related to being overweight, or how much this problem is expanding (no pun intended). Although none of the articles spoke of this, I have to think pop/soda is a contributor to this problem. There was a lot of talk about the number of calories consumed, and pop has a lot of empty calories. I know Wes and I drink too much pop, although I probably drink a lot less than the "average American." I've tried to give up pop a number of times but then end up buying it for some occasion and then get hooked again. Its my health bane.

All I know is I have again determined that I hate writing papers for a class, especially lengthy ones.

David has been busy learning several words a day and spinning in circles until he gets dizzy and falls down. Apparently this is his new favorite thing to do.

Speaking of learning words, I have a funny story about David learning the word boob. Ummm yeah. So earlier today Wes and I were talking about weight issues and I was talking about how if I gained as much weight as the traditional chart says I should, I would be quite a bit heavier and I think I would be overweight even if the chart doesn't think so (conversely some people can be heavier and be in shape because muscle weighs more than fat). Wes says "yeah, if you gained all that weight your boobs would look weird!" or something silly like that and David laughs and says "boobooobooob!!" and laughs. We both couldn't contain our laughter, but we tried really hard because we don't really want him repeating it on a regular basis for laughs and for all of the grandparents who would probably be offended. He learns a lot of words the first time he hears them-- scary!

Idle moments

2006-04-25T09:41:00.000-07:00

David spent a long time this morning spinning in circles until he got dizzy and then falling to the ground. It was hilarious. I am surprised he thought of it so young. I rotated his toys last night, meaning getting out toys he hasn't seen in a while and putting away ones he's sick of, and this morning we played with the shape sorter. I was naming the shapes, star, square, circle and triangle.... he looked interested and then named his favorite-- "gircle." :) Heehee.

David knows home

2006-04-23T17:57:00.000-07:00

Today we went to lunch with Wes' parents. On the way home in their van (we live two blocks apart so they picked us up) David recognized something and said, "home!" for the first time. Then he looked at grandma and said "byebye" and waved. He's really putting his thoughts together. Yes, we go home and then grandma and grandpa go byebye.

Later this afternoon we walked down the sidewalk just for the fun of it. We went around the block and came back and David saw our house and he said, "home." Awww, David knows what his home looks like.

He looked excited about story time before bed, he climbed up on the bed with a huge grin on his face and after story time he exclaimed "nigh nigh!" and without any struggle went straight to bed.

Maybe its the good weather, but days like this make me feel so good. :)

More stupidity in the world

2006-04-23T14:00:00.000-07:00

I heard about this a couple days ago, and it so bugged me I keep thinking about it. A 3 year old was taken from his foster parents who were trying to adopt him to place him with a family of the same race. Parts of the article:

"Two days ahead of schedule, Chester County officials removed a tearful, 3-year-old child yesterday from his Downingtown-area foster home so he could be placed with a family who is adopting him in central Pennsylvania.

Adoption experts deplored the decision to remove Kevin from his home two days before promised. Transitions from foster to permanent care are already traumatic, they said, let alone trying to accomplish it in one day.

"The child needs to be prepared because, psychologically, he has bonded with the family," said Gloria Hochman, a spokeswoman for the National Adoption Center in Philadelphia. "To him, those are his parents. A child that age doesn't know the difference between foster and adopt."

Not only had Kevin bonded to the parents, Bruce E. Mapes, of Exton, said in a written report, but he bonded to Danielle, 11, and the father's stepchildren, David, 15 and Emily, 12. But the Borellys said that they believe the county preferred to put Kevin, who is black, with a black family. It is illegal to guide adoptions according to race.

Michael Churchill, chief counsel for the Public Interest Law Center of Philadelphia, said the county's "outrageous" actions at removing the child yesterday suggested that race was a factor.
"It is certainly hard to understand what else would lead them to do what is so harmful to the child," said Churchill..."

Full Article Here

Exclusivism

2006-04-20T19:16:00.000-07:00

A couple days ago I was having a conversation with an individual who informed me matter of factly, "God sends the majority of mankind to hell for his glory." That just floored me. How a person can say something like that without tears running down their face and a cry to the Almighty "what if there are ten righteous, oh Lord, will you spare them?"(Genesis 18:31) with no compassion-- isn't that one of the main points of Jesus' life? He saw them, and he was moved with compassion(Matthew 9:36, 14:14, 15:32, 20:34, Mark 1:41, 6:34, 8:2, Luke 15:20) and he wept with compassion over whole cities who did not have peace(Luke 19:41).

Exclusivism holds a "us four and no more" attitude. We are the chosen ones, we are going to heaven, most are not. The person who informed me most people go to hell is a newly assimilated member of one of these exclusivist groups-- they call themselves Calvinists. These people believe, as all exclusivist groups do, that they are the only ones who have it "right" and the only ones who have ever read and understood the Bible. I am always shocked and saddened when a person joins an excluvist group at how it happens-- through slow breaking down of a person's intuition. This person told me, "it was so hard to believe at first..." That is our intuition saying "no its not true!" but after time, being around a group of people who are indoctrinating us, we become unable to see anything but their point of view. Essentially we turn off our intuition and begin to believe that which is absolutely unbelievable to our hearts. Once a person is indoctrinated, I notice often they refuse to read anything that might challenge the faith that they now hold. Books that might teach them that predestination goes again free will are discarded. Churches that might teach we should get on our knees and beg for God's mercy(for him to bring more with him to paradise) are boycotted. The person becomes ultimately trapped in their bubble of belief where-- dare I say it-- they begin to act more and more cultish.

I know, because I have been that person before.

I do not mean to pick on Calvinists alone, there are other groups of exclusivists. The Catholic Church and the Greek Orthodox bicker between themselves on which one really IS "The One True Church" that came from the original line of apostles and which was the branch that broke off. I am sure you can think of a few exclusivist groups yourself. (I have some Catholics I like and so I should say that I know not all Catholics believe they are the only ones going to heaven, but I have met those who do and tell me it is a part of their religious documents)

Something is very wrong here. Jesus broke bread with tax collectors(Matthew 9:10), and condemned the religious(Matthew 3:7). Now more than 2000 years after Jesus set the example we have again broke into our strict religious sects where we alone are right. The attitude "We are the only ones who read the holy book right" has already been done by the Pharisees, Sadducees and Zealots-- and they were condemned.

Will we now become them?

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2

Tired

2006-04-18T20:02:00.000-07:00

I planted a small vegetable garden and flowers today. I love summer weather. David comes in all muddy and I have to dump him straight into the tub. I've been really tired recently and not feeling myself. So I had better go to bed. Over and out.

Silly little joys

2006-04-15T19:55:00.000-07:00

We've been looking at books and labelling things. He was very puzzled by one page with a bee on it. I said "bee!" and then said bzzzzzzzzzzzz and one finger circled his head and ticked his tummy. He loved it and after I tried to move on from bee, he took my finger and goes "bfffffffffffffff" on his tummy. LOL

Why I would never put my child in day care

2006-04-14T16:19:00.000-07:00

If your kid spends 45 hours in day care a week (which is how much a full time job will leave the child there if you only work 8 hours with 1/2 hour break plus a 15 minute commute), and 70 hours at home a week sleeping (10 hours for 7 nights which is healthy for babies, toddlers and young children... my son spends 11 hours at night and that's not unusual) then the parent is spending only 53 hours a week influencing the child..... and how much of that is spent just making dinner and getting ready for bed? How much of it requires both working parents to be doing dishes instead of playing games? I want my husband and I to be the number one influence on our children and I don't believe that can be done effectively using day care.

Little Mirrors

2006-04-10T09:29:00.000-07:00

You know how they say children are Little Mirrors? It is really so true. I can't believe how much we are being imitated recently. One example, Wes likes to sit on the couch with the remote control sometimes (watching sports, etc.) and he hides the remote control under his leg so that David doesn't play with it. David knows this and a couple days ago I caught him sitting in daddy's spot on the couch with the remote control under his leg. Just like daddy! Now that is funny....

David Eats Brocolli

2006-04-07T20:32:00.000-07:00

Enter the picture: plate of brocolli. I ate a piece, offered him a bite from my fork and said, "would you like a bite?" He said, "Nooooooo" and grinned mischeviously. Mommy, being more mischevious than him shrugged and said, "oh well" and ate the bite. Another piece of brocolli stabbed and I ask, "want some?" and he says "Noooooo don wan some!" and grins again, knowing he had said something and feeling quite proud. I shrug again and eat the brocolli. We continue this way a few more bites and then suddenly he says, "Bite?" Heehee.

Oh yes.... I play psychological games with my toddler. Why? Because I'm not going to jam brocolli down his throat, and I'm certainly not going to make a 19 month old sit there until he eats it. Its not a big deal because I know that over the course of days he always eats a round amount of all of the food groups. Did I really care if he ate brocolli? Not particularly, but while I am feeding myself I may as well get a few bites down him. Its a fun game for us, he pretends he doesn't want something and we get to practice speech.

He used to like brocolli quite a bit. Its only recently that he looks at it and refuses, and I think it has more to do with the texture than the taste. Right now he is very much into carrots and plain whole grain rice.

I took a picture tonight just before bed, he had just gotten out of the bath and into his jammies. In this picture, he had just asked me for juice, and I had told him no. That made him very sad.

Christians.... they are either ultra conservative or don't give a lick about morality

2006-04-07T10:13:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: I do not intend to offend, but I probably will.

One one side, there is the ultra conservative Christian who thinks things like.... one piece suits are more conservative than two piece suits. Now, I don't blame these people entirely because I too was once convinced of this "fact." But then if you get to thinking about it the only difference between a one piece suit and a two piece suit is the fact that your stomach is showing. Who cares about the stomach?

Anyway, that's all just water under the bridge. So on one side you have the standards that no one can reach. On the other side you have people who think everything is morally permissible, prove it using their Bible, and then don't care about things that moral people should care about, Christian or not. (in my opinion of course)

One of these issues is the objectification of women. This forum I post at, people were talking about the Pizza Hut commercial with Jessica Simpson and the pubescent male. If you watch that commercial and just ask yourself the question, 'What message are they trying to send?' its really not that hard to figure out that its not about pizza. And please do look at that boy's face.

Anyway, I think its a worthy point and worth discussing, but for some reason on the other side there is this type of Christian who gets completely worked up and fully offended if you ever discuss that something might not be moral. They want to be Christian, but not moral. One such person says, on a Christian forum, "I find it hard to believe that people can't find better things to do with their time and life then b*itch about Pizza Hut commercials." First, if we are all posting on a forum, I think its quite obvious that we DON'T have anything to do, so why not discuss it? Apparently she doesn't have anything better to do than to complain about others complaining. Figure that one out! And I just have to comment on the fact that she's telling us how to behave as Christians by bypassing the forum's censor so she can get attention with her curse word. A maturity problem? Likely...

52 too many things about me.

2006-04-06T16:22:00.000-07:00

1. FIRST NAME? Janet

2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Nope

3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? I can't remember, but I am sure it was within the last few days.

4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Its okay, good enough to read!

5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCHMEAT? Ham

6. KIDS? 1 boy

7. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Definitely... which is probably why I have other friends just like me... lol

8. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? Nope!

9. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Occasionally O:)

10. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes.

11. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Maybe, it would depend on the actual safety of it. No plane jumping though. Nearby to here we have an annual skyjumping conference or something like that and nearly every year someone dies. I think its about time they stop having that conference!

12. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Raisin Nut Bran

13. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? No

14. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Physically no.... emotionally, most of the time.

15. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Chocolate

16. SHOE SIZE? 6 1/2

17. RED OR PINK? Pink!

18. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? I am very impatient

19. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? All my family lives here... but I do miss my friend DJ from Minnesota (I used to live in MN)

20. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? I'd love anyone who wants to do this to put it up and mentioned it in the comments. (what she said)

21. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES YOU ARE WEARING? Jeans and socks

22. LAST THING YOU ATE? Rice and veggie stir fry

23. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Veggie Tales "The Kindly Viking"

24. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Periwinkle Blue

25. FAVORITE SMELL? Fresh clean baby

26. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? My husband

27. FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Confidence

28. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Yes, check out her blog or come post with us at GCM

29. FAVORITE DRINK? White Grape Juice

30. FAVORITE SPORT? None

31. HAIR COLOR? Brown

32. EYE COLOR? Brown

33. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? No

34. FAVORITE FOOD? At the moment I have a strong craving for a Chipotle Burrito with shredded beef. But I don't know what is always my favorite food.

35. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDING? Happy ending

36. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Do Veggie Tales count? I just watched Veggie Tales.

37. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? White

38. SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer

39. HUGS OR KISSES? Both

40. FAVORITE DESSERT? Ice cream

41. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? 8)

42. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? you?

43. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? Since I am behind on school work, mostly school books. Managerial Accounting and Scriptures of The East come to mind.

44. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Its plain blue

45. WHAT DID YOU WATCH LAST NIGHT ON TV? I didn't watch TV.... I went to bed early!

46. FAVORITE SOUNDS? Thunderstorms

47. ROLLING STONE OR BEATLES? Neither

48. THE FURTHEST YOU BEEN FROM HOME? Uhhh. Florida. :D

49. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? I have a really great memory for some things, like the Bible, and I am also good at seeing "the other side"

50. WHEN AND WHERE WERE YOU BORN? June 19, Chicago, IL

51. WHAT CONDITION ARE YOUR HANDS AND FEET IN? Pretty healthy shape... thanks burt's bees!

52. WHO IS YOUR FAVOURITE AUTHOR? I can only pick one? I just can't do that!

Powers been out

2006-04-04T18:20:00.000-07:00

Er, so my power has been out in my house since Sunday-- and its Tuesday night. We have been staying at my parents house for the last two nights. David woke up last night at 3:00 am a little freaked out because he was not at home, and then kept me up for more than an hour. I am completely exhausted today. I hope tomorrow our power is back, but everything in the fridge has already been ruined. Our house is very cold without heat!

Send your kids outside -- now

2006-04-03T14:16:00.000-07:00

This counts as another advantage to homeschooling to me... more time to enjoy the outdoors!!

"It's the first day of spring. Do you know where your children are?

Among the likely answers:

*Sitting in a classroom or at home, studying for the year-end round of standardized tests.
*Sitting in a backseat on the way to a one-hour practice for some organized sport.
*Sitting in front of a screen.

Among the less likely answers:

*Running around the yard.
*Riding a bike around the neighborhood.
*Building a fort in the nearest woods.

In other words, today's kids might not even notice spring, much less burst out the back door to enjoy it.

Although the ills of modern childhood -- including obesity, depression and attention problems -- surely have many causes, this growing distance between kids and the outdoors is a prime suspect in many eyes." --USA Today, MAR 20, 2006 (full article, go get the magazine, hehe)

Feminism is about choices

2006-03-31T20:34:00.000-08:00

Here is a broadcast by Focus on the Family in response to Linda Hirshman's clearly ignorant ABC interview. Have a listen:
http://www.oneplace.com/ministries/Focus_on_the_Family/
archives.asp?bcd=3/22/2006

Linda Hirshman apparently missed the point. Feminism is about women having choices, whether to work inside the home and have children, or to pursue a career instead. Its about women being able to vote, drive cars, and go out without their husbands as chaperones. I just shake my head.

I find being a stay at home mom more challenging to my intellect and my body than any year in school and any year on the job. She just has no idea what she is talking about because she’s never done it. I've done all three.

I won’t waste any more time writing about that lunacy …

Imitation is the highest form of flattery

2006-03-30T14:46:00.000-08:00

Anything I do these days, David wants to do too. If I vacuum with the cord over my rght shoulder, I turn a minute after I turn off the vacuum cleaner and he's got the cord over his right shoulder. If Wes stretches a certain way, David stretches the same way (I tried so hard to get a picture of this but as soon as I pull out the camera he stops stretching). On and on.

Today David puts one of his hands on each side of my face, pulled me forward and kissed my chin. Just exactly the way I kiss him (except I kiss his forehead, lol)!! It was such a precious thing to me.

Lets start calling it what it is... abuse

2006-03-30T13:20:00.000-08:00

I so agree! Please do not let the Pearls affect your beliefs in parenting, and if they have manipulated your mind into believing that what they call training is anything but abuse...

Here is an article about a child who just died using the Pearl methods. http://www.newsobserver.com/102/story/418676.html Even without a death, their methods are negative and damaging to the parent-child bond.

A Silent Birth?

2006-03-30T09:39:00.000-08:00

Tom Cruise is a lot crazier than we all ever realized....

"TOM Cruise’s pregnant fiancée Katie Holmes will be reminded to keep her vow of silence during birth — by signs plastered around their home."

And where did the scientologists get this idea? "The cult’s creator, sci-fi writer L. Ron Hubbard, once said: “Maintain silence in the presence of birth to save both the sanity of the mother and child.”"

Enough said... a cult creator and sci-fi writer! Who knew he also had the qualifications to speak about the psychology and health and well being of a woman and her child? I sure am not buying it.

Full Article: http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2006140204,00.html

2006-03-29T19:12:00.000-08:00

I'm real sick today, woke up with the flu last night. I am lucky that grandma was able to watch David today so I could sleep since I was up most of the night. Tomorrow its just him and I-- and I still feel terrible. I hope I wake up tomorrow with an improvement. I think the worst thing about being a SAHM is that you can't call in sick. You have to keep working. The house is a disaster area right now too.

Homeschoolers on to College: What Research Shows Us

2006-03-28T12:37:00.000-08:00

I read this 4 page article a while back, but I think its worth mentioning for home schooling naysayers :)

The first part:

"Experience and anecdotes have led many people to believe that homeschool parents were either move-to-the-country anarchist goat-herders, or right-wing Bible-thumpers, and their children were either mathematically-limited, due to Mama's fear of math, or child prodigies in rocket-science who were unthinkably socially hindered. Although one can find statistical deviants in every group, homeschooling research tells a different story from the experience-based stereotypes and biases concerning those involved in home education.

Quick History and Demographics

Most people know that parent-led, home-based education is neither a new concept nor a new educational practice; it is millennia old. By the late 1970s, however, it was estimated that only 13,000 grades K-12 students were being homeschooled in the United States (Lines, 1991). The practice of homeschooling was specially rekindled during the 1980s, promoted by individualist parents and educational thinkers with a variety of backgrounds in pedagogical philosophies and religious worldviews. With 1.7- 2.1 million K-12 students home educated during the 2002-2003 institutional school year, home-based education is now arguably the fastest-growing form of education, compared to public and private institutional schooling (Ray, 2003)."

Full article: http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qa3955
/is_200410/ai_n9443747

Pictures from vacation -- just got back today!

2006-03-27T18:42:00.000-08:00

My sister watching David play chess in our condo.... he's a genius!

Wes, David and I at Disneyworld

Here's us again!

2006-03-18T17:51:00.000-08:00

David self soothes after turning on vacuum cleaner

2006-03-17T14:34:00.000-08:00

Earlier David was playing with the vacuum while I was tidying up the floor and he accidently turned it on, and then straight back off. He patted himself on the head to get calmed down because thats what we do sometimes, stroke his hair and say, "It's okay..." I thought that was so cute that he tried to soothe himself that way also.

Another affectionate thing he did today: we were sitting on the floor talking and I put my hands on each side of his head and kissed the top of his head. A minute later he grabs my hands and puts them on each side of his head... I guess he liked it and wanted another kiss!

A trip to Target

2006-03-16T20:33:00.000-08:00

Four days until vacation. Today we bought David some shorts and tee shirts for the trip.... ohhh man he is growing so fast. That makes me sad and excited at the same time. At least now he's old enough to not go running full force away down the aisle at Target. He actually stays within my sight. Bonus! We tested out some of the toys and he decided he loved the mini kitchen they had there. It was a rather manly kitchen with real metal pots and pans. He clanged them around and turned the knobs on the stovetop. I definitely want to get him one for his birthday, if I can wait that long. First, I will check the garage sales this spring/summer but I won't settle for one unless it is in really good condition (and is not pink).

Thoughts on unschooling

2006-03-15T19:04:00.000-08:00

I've just finished a book about unschooling. I've decided I don't put much stock in it. The idea that young people will just suddenly develop the desire to learn all they need to know is not logical or realistic. Even their examples weren't very good and it seemed obvious to me they weren't learning as much as a more disciplined approach. Life takes a certain amount of discipline, and education is one of those areas where you develop discipline to carry with you into adulthood. Life as an adult is nothing like unschooling-- sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do and things that weren't your idea. I see more value in learning more subject matter. At the very least a homeschooled child should know as much as children in the public school (and that shouldn't be much of a challenge).

I think if you follow your child's lead you can go as fast or as slow as you need to go, and you can also let them help you pick some of the extra subjects they are interested in. But I will not let my child decide to do something absurd-- like not going above Algebra in math, or skipping parts of history. I want my kid(s) to be informed people. If I had been homeschooled I think I would have gone a lot farther in math. I remember being bored in my math classes every year because they went too slow. I hope I can provide that opportunity by homeschooling. Hey, I'll bet I learn a lot along the way as well.

The part of unschooling I do like is the idea that you sit less. I want to work in an approach that includes a lot of field trips, learning while in the park, a choice of hobbies like piano or basketball, and learning by talking while doing housework.

All people want is to connect to other people

2006-03-11T07:53:00.000-08:00

This morning I was reading one of my library books and I came across a great story about people and the impractical ways they try to connect:

I was sitting on the veranda of a resataurant in Isla Mujeres, a little island off the coast of the Yucatan in Mexico, when a drama unfolded at the tables around me. At one table was a group of three young man, laughing and drinking and having a merry time. At another table sat two other young men, looking morose and not speaking to each other as they drank their beers. If you pained this scene, you would make the first group flow with light, while the second pair would be shrouded in shadow. After a while, one of the miserable pair walked away, without either of them saying a word of farewell.

The man who was left alone, a heavyset guy in poorly fitting clothes, stared straight ahead into space, making a point of not looking over toward the men at the other table. Suddenly, he turned to them and said something in a deep voice. Then he turned back and stared into space again. From my minimal understanding of Spanish, I recognized it as a rather foul obsenity. The three men at the other table were surprised and angry. They looked over at the man, glared at him, turned back to their beers, and shrugged at one another. The man sitting along began a regular, dull drone. Every twenty or thirty seconds, in a monotone, he would repeat the word.

The men at the other table went through a wide range of responses to this. They ignored him, insulted him back, yelled at home, threatened him, cajoled him, tried to argue with him, told him to get lost, begged him to stop. None of these approaches changed the pitch or the frequency of this obsene metronome in the tiniest bit. Nothing they said even made a dent. Finally, one of the three guys, my unexpected hero, said something like, "Hey, come over here." The big guy seemed to think this was an invitation to fight but wasn't sure. If it was, he didn't know what to do about it. The young man asked him again to come over. The heavyset man got up slowly and deliberately and came shuffling over, eyes staring down at the floor. I tensed up a bit, not wanting to get caught in a crossfire of fists.

Nothing like that happened. The man at the happy table said, "No, no, bring your drink, come sit down with us." No one seemed stunned by this (aside from me, that is). The other man shuffled over, got his beer, and shuffled back, standing a step away from the table. My hero leaned back and twisted an empty chair around from my table, pulling it over very close to himself. He made a little gesture indicative of wipping it off for the newcomer. The big guy sat down. I could almost hear his muscles snapping as he forced his body to bend. He looked lost and confused, but the group made him genuinely welcome. There was no recrimination of teasing about the cursing. The issue was resolved.

After a lot of fumbling, one of the men had stumbled over the elegant solution. They all went back to laughing and talking. The man who had given the invation kept his hand on the big guy's back or shoulder all the time, guiding him through the conversation. When there was a pause, he gently urged his new friend into the opening, asking him a question. The big guy would speak, then look quickly at his sponsor for feedback, ready to stop it fast. When he was done, he would sink back into his seat with a sigh. His sponsor would quote him, carrying on the conversation. And all was well.

I sat there stunned. I promised myself I would always remember that people just want to be close, no matter what crazy stupid ways they might show it. -- Playful Parenting, p. 251, by Lawrence Cohen, Phd.

2006-03-10T19:52:00.000-08:00

"Books are the carriers of civilization. Without books, history is silent, literature dumb, science crippled, thought and speculation at a standstill."

--Henry David Thoreau

I've always liked Thoreau. Books, or the written word, is the carrier of civilization. We are lucky to live in a world where communication is so easy and so wide spread. On the other hand, an accidently google will tell you a lot about the depraved world we live in and in that way share the pitfalls of such easy communication.

Sensitive periods, indeed!

2006-03-07T10:24:00.000-08:00

In Barbara Curtis' book, The Mommy Manual, she talked about Montessori's sensitive periods and in David's young life I have stumbled upon the senstive period for "helping" or wanting to be a productive member of the household. David is happiest when he is helping. This morning I asked Wes to bring me some hangers for the laundry I was working on and he gave a few to David who proudly ran down the hallway to give me the hangers. Then he can back for more, and Wes' kept handing a few at a time until I had a huge pile of hangers! Just a short time later David was grabbing wash cloths and bringing them to dad in the kitchen for him to put where we keep them.

This has shown me that I need to rearrange my house again. I need to move the towels, washcloths, dishes, etc. to where he can put them away allow him to feel that satisfaction anytime he wants without having to hand those things to a bigger person. If he wants to "do it himself" I don't want to stand in the way. I hope that in starting him early as a productive member of the household it will continue all the way through his teenage years. I think many parents make the mistake of introducing "chores" when the child is older, like 8, and then they have trouble getting their kids to do them. Barbara Curtis is a smart lady with more experience than me, and I am glad I learned this lesson from her. Check out her website.

The nursery fiasco

2006-03-06T13:43:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was d-day. We had planned in advance that would be the day that we would try again to leave David in the nursery. The last time we left him there was disasterous and so for months Wes and I have been taking turns staying in the nursery. His security restored he then took to playing and hardly noticing we were there. So we decided he was ready to be left. I told him in advance "You're going to play in the nursery and its going to be fun, just like at grandmas. And mommy is going to go to church and then come right back, just like at grandmas." So I kissed him goodbye and left. As I walked away I could hear him howling but we all knew this would happen and figured he would be distractable after a few minutes. No such luck! Half way through the service they had to come get me because he had thrown himself on the floor on his stomach, buried his head in his hands and howled on and on. When they came near him he would get even more mad and fight them. When I came in there he got right up and came running into my arms and gave me a big hug. It was so heart breaking. So.... there goes that.

We have decided to bring him into the service and work on "family worship" since both Wes and I need to be in the services. This is going to mean a lot of work for me, I just know it, but if he doesn't feel comfortable in the nursery I will not leave him there until he stops crying-- it would probably take weeks of abandonment and the results would leave us less connected to our trusting toddler. That goes against our belief that the connection between us and our child will be the strength of our long term influence in his life.

2006-03-04T18:45:00.000-08:00

Pictures of David from yesterday

Small victories

2006-03-04T18:32:00.000-08:00

For the first time a couple days ago, I was putting away stacks of laundry and I turned around to find David following me down the hallway with a stack of folded washcloths instead of unfolding them in my absense. Woohoo!! He continues to have an interest in helping me, so long as I slow down and take the time to show him how he can help me. He now pushes the wet laundry into the dryer, helps me mop (although this is not any help at all, but its the thought that counts!), sweeps (we gave him a mini broom for Christmas which I had to find in the girl's department-- I resent the implication that only girls should sweep!!), and he is getting good at "wiping" and "stirring." What a heartbreaker! It is so worth the time to slow down and let him feel that he is a valid part of the family and a contributor even if it is ever so small.

Wes was home today and they got to spend daddy-David time while I went out to develop some pictures, which I haven't done in months, and I went to the bookstore to have a hot chocolate and check out the books. It was nice having some time by myself for once.